The answer to that is a resounding no. Everyday I love my children even more and that love is bolstered by something even more special- I am so proud of the individuals they are growing into. And far from the teenage years being seething bed of horror and dysfunction, I think (so far) they have been their best years.
Why does society paint adolescence as a horror story? Are we normalising abnormal behaviour because some children (for a variety of reasons) go off the rails a bit during this time? Steve and I went to the seminars about managing your teen. We were told about how they will naturally want to take risks and sometimes do stupid things due to the lack of development in their brains. They used this theory to explain why teenagers drink, take drugs and drive cars really fast, among other anti social and dangerous activities. This then was painted as the norm. As the sort of thing you should 'expect' and perhaps except from teenagers.
I say this analysis is wrong. Those behaviours are abnormal and result of something else going on in the teenager's life. They then manifest more easily because of the stage of brain development that they are at. But what about the majority? And it is the majority who sail through adolescence with minimal ripples. What does the risk taking part of the brain have them doing?
Well I tell you, and the things are amazing and it is why teenage years truly are the best years of your life. With additional confidence, a tendency toward risk and perhaps a lack of the bigger picture pressures that bog down adults, teenagers are creative, innovative, and game to take on challenges that later in life they maybe less inclined to tackle. They learn amazing stuff, like jumping off cliffs (abseiling) or rock climbing. They think nothing of going on challenging overnight hikes. They stick their hands up to speak in public, or play instruments for large audiences or play sport. They speak their mind and are not afraid to have a go and get involved. They have a can do attitude. And they are funny, because they say and do the sort of crazy things that society slowly beats out of us as we age.
This is a far cry from the morose lazy teenager stereotype that we are fed. Of course there are moments of that, sometimes too many. It is true they have lots of sedentary time, spend way too much time skulking in a messy room playing on their computer. But during this time they are also learning and studying for school or secretly practising their creative writing skills. They are socialising on social media and building relationships for life.
I look at teenagers today and I see that they are more confident, better educated and more socially aware than we ever were. They have access to greater opportunities to succeed and excel. With a nurturing environment at both home and school teenagers have the capacity to do great things and utilise this unique time in their brain development to lay down an amazing foundation for adulthood. So let's stop looking at the negatives and embrace the positives, and I guarantee you will find so much to be proud of in your teenagers.
Teenagers have a way of filling the house with their presence. While you are lamenting the lack of personal space, remember that, so far in this journey, these are their best years. It wont be too long before they are gone and then the house will feel so empty. So embrace the opportunity now to really enjoy your teenagers by getting to know them. You will definitely find yourself feeling great pride in the fantastic people that they are developing into.
