What is happening to my guts?

I'm sure at sometime at the beginning of this week I spied the again messy house with resigned loathing, because I do remember the thought crossing my mind, 'just how more messy could the house get if I just didn't do a thing for a whole week?'

Well I shouldn't have tempted fate.

I have spent most of the past week in bed and pretty much indisposed in the housework department.  But not out of gratuitous spiteful choice.  I already mentioned the cold I had and the sore back, well going for the trifecta, yesterday I threw in some weird tummy bug thing too.  Tuesday, Wednesday were devoted to the cold.  I had half of Thursday where I was okay, but it was my birthday.  By Thursday afternoon I was bedridden with my sore back and this extended to Friday and half of Saturday.  Just as the pain looked like it may have been improving I got half way through a banana and blueberry smoothie when I thought 'hmmmm not really enjoying this, I might not drink anymore.'

Within about an hour I had cramping pains in my guts, it was like the pain from my back had migrated forward to my gut area.  That last statement is really making me sound like a hypochondriac. Maybe it was just a case that the tummy pain was so bad, that the back pain diminished in comparison.  Knowing that Harry had had a nasty tummy bug just a few days ago, me catching a tummy bug was definitely a possibility.

I was just left wondering 'why me?'  Three maladies in one week, now that is hardly very fair, particularly a week that includes my birthday.

The cramping pains continued for a couple of hours with me not certain, when it eventually happened, which end the explosion was going to come from.  Without going into graphic detail the explosion was not quite the grand gut bug incessant vomit and diarrhoea affair that, based on the pain, I was expecting.  I did erupt out both ends but only relatively little.  It was mostly cramping and effort.  I still feel sore today in both my gut and my back which leaves me wondering whether there is some connection between the inexplicable back pain and a very stuck up crampy sort of gut bug.

Either way I've been incapacitated for the good part of a week.  I have done dishes and swept floors, so the whole "wonder what the house would look like if I just didn't do any housework for a week" experiment was a bit of a failure.  Of course what it does leave is an even bigger mess than the one I was lamenting at the beginning of last week and it still needs cleaning.  Oh where are the cleaning fairies when you need them?  Oh that's right, I think somehow when I wasn't looking I got designated as the cleaning fairy.  Bugger.  How do I get out of that one?  If I find the magic fairy cleaning wand I'll be sure to slip it under someone else's pillow while they are sleeping